I am sitting in the library. I am trying to do my tutorial work but I have little motivation and there’s something about decision trees that make you want to kill yourself.
So I amuse myself with people watching. This is everyone’s favourite past time even if they won’t admit to it. The only bad thing about it is that if I sit here staring at people - considering its a library and people are most likely in the exact same situation as me, look at someone too long and boof! You’ve made eye contact. Fall on the floor.
Right now there are two girls in a pod opposite me, if I look at them I get the feeling the guy who is faced towards me is looking at me looking at them. TRICKY.
A new girl just sat down… She looks tired and there is a little perspiration on her forehead. I suggest she’s been outside and walking up stairs. However she has kept her coat on. This could mean two things… One, my theory is wrong, and Two, she is sweaty and has bad BO and therefore thinks she can trap the stench inside her coat. Puzzle.
I have a tutorial in less than an hour and I am sick of not knowing how to do decision trees. Let me have some Ribena! OH SHIT.
I JUST SPILT RIBENA ON MA TREE. And VOOOOSH.
My eyes are popping out the sockets! So is everyone else’s eyes!
A bean stock has just sprouted out of my decision tree!
I have decided to climb it. I’ll get back to you when I hit the top!…
Ten minutes later…
….Ooft! Its huge up here in the sky. The clouds are so soft and made of water! There are hills too and lots of grass! FEE FI FO FUMB. I SMELL THE BLOOD OF A BORED ACCOUNTING STUDENT.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?! I’m screaming! There’s a… A…. A…. A GIANT!!! :O
He has picked me. He is so ugly. And now I mean I’ve seen ugly. I know what ugly looks like… But this!!! A whole different kind of ugly.
OH NO. He’s gonna drop me off down the bean stock. Down the way I came. Oh no!!!
He speaks to me… “Time to unbore yourself, little girl.” He says, “focus your mind and all will be well.” And he drops me.
OOOFFTT. I land back in my chair. Just another tale of Loz’s Library Adventures.
I am sitting in the library, I have ate my lunch. My sandwich is gone and I ate an orange too but now my hands spell like orange so I’m being bombarded by vitamins going up my nose. In front of me is a table then a blue chair. They are comfy. Then there are “THE PODS”. Yes. They carry little aliens in them and are filled with huge computers and hard drives and other technical computery-engineery bits and bobs, never before seen by man. There are little green peas for the aliens sitting on. When you sit down they go ‘poooooof’. There is a man…. I think its a man…with a pony tail. In fact, its a girl. SHE is reading a book and sitting on a black chair. Then there is a creepy looking man, who reminds me of “the bowler-hat guy” in the film Meet The Robinsons. He is in a pod by himself. Abducted I believe. He looks crazy enough. There are also people behind me talking away. This is a library BITCHES. Although they are conversing quietly. And now there’s a new guy in my view who had one of those puffy jackets that look like they’re made with bin liners. SADNESS. OH HOLY MOLY. A gigantic crocodile has just entered the room! People are panicking! IM ON DA TABLE. AAAAAH. But wait! What’s that I see?!! A COWBOY?! In the library!?:! He must have escaped from the museum! Or Dynamic Earth! The cowboy has lassoed the crocodile round the teeth. Am actual shaking. NIGHTMARE. Here come LUPD. LIBRARY. UNI POLICE DEPARTMENT for short. They have the crocodile under control for now. Am still on the table. The cowboy has saved us! We’re all cheering!!! WOOOPWOOOOP!! So much cheer! I’m so happy! Brilliant! Amazing show! Can’t believe what just happened! Some of the other library geeks and myself are gonna throw a tea party in honour of the cowboy! NO, WHERE DID HE GO!? I swear he was just there! THERE. FINGER POINTING. He went puffed into pink smoke! WTH. Just another fun day in the library.
I honestly hate it when people use the term ‘cheeky wee 3hour shift at work’ or something along those lines. Aye, it may have been a ‘wee shift’ but your use of personification hasn’t impressed me. If working was actually cheeky, which I doubt it was, I still wouldn’t want to hear about it.
And yes, if I don’t like it maybe I should read it. But cmon, you’re posting it everywhere, obviously I’m going to see it, therefore I have a right to complain.
And also :’) when I say you’re I’m talking about all the people who describe things as ‘cheeky’ :’) not just one person.
Comment (from relative over the age of 40):
Hello Jim! I hope you're doing fantastic down where you are. I was just looking through some old pictures of you as a child and realized just how precious you were. LOL! When are you coming back up to visit? Your Uncle Jeff and I can't wait to see you again. We've got plenty of chores for you to do up here to help around the house. LOL! Just kidding Jim! How's your mother? I hope you're helping her out and being a good kid! But I have nothing to worry about, you're always a great kid! LOL! Hope all is well.